You know you're from UPSTATE when....

• This just never gets old..... It's like an old friend....
• You've ever been to Larkfest or the Tulip Festival. - Been to both....
• You still call the Times Union Center the Pepsi Arena and possibly "The Knick". - I still call it the Knick.... but NEVER TUC
• You can correctly pronounce the words Kosciuszko, Cohoes, Coeymans, and Kayaderosseras. - Hell yeah!
• You know what The Egg is. - Not that you can see it anymore since they built a stupid hotel in front of it.
• You know what and where Nipper is. - Nipper ROCKS!
• You expect to see nothing but grey between the months of November and May. - there are many shades of gray....
• You remember when Crossgates was only half as big as it is now. Bonus points if you know what store was there before Best Buy. - I remember when it opened.... and there was a movie theatre UPSTAIRS.... and of course... CALDOR. (PS I worked in the one in Latham)
• You've ever rooted for the River Rats. - I used to know the kid who was Rowdy. And Jordy Kinnear was my favorite Rat
• You grew up on Channels 6, 10, and 13. - Ed Dague, need I say more?
• The word "dredge" immediately conjures up thoughts of GE. - just let it go man...
• Spring means potholes. - whoohoo! New shocks!
• You never expect them to pass the budget on time. - There's an actual due date? Who knew?
• You are only mildly irritated by double-parked cars. - Nah, I still get annoyed.
• You know the 3 closest Stewart's shops to your house. - Not just my house, but both of my jobs as well.
• You've ever eaten something from Freihoffer's or Breugers. - yummy chocolate chip cookies... and Breuggars started in TROY! Best bagels ever.
• You know where the governor's house is. - uh, actually, I don't. Pataki refused to live here.
• You've never called I-87 anything other than "The Northway".Okay, maybe you've called it "The Thruway", too. Depends which side of Albany you're from. Is the southbound lane of the Northway, still the Northway when it's heading south?
• You know when there's going to be traffic on the Twin Bridges. - The twin bridges have a real name, after a Polish guy.
• You know that there are two different Route 7s off the Northway. Bonus if you know there used to only be one. - I STILL call it Alternate Route 7.... even though it's no longer an alternate...
• You know what SPAC stands for. - I know more about SPAC than I care to know. The Saratoga Performing Arts Center is my second home.
• You know what SUNY means. - Gotta love the SUNY system.
• You know what a pine barren is and where you can find one. - this one stumps me. What the hell is a pine barren??????
• You know somewhere in the Hudson that's clean. - only in my dreams...
• Poughkeepsie is "downstate". - Hell yeah!
• Arbor Hill and Hamilton Hill are as bad as Camden to you. Doesn't matter where I am going, everytime I get lost I end up in Arbor Hill.
• You know which lake people are talking about when they say "the lake". - Well, duh? Isn't there only one CITY in NY?
• You remember the Cinema 10 in Northway Mall. - I saw Fox & the Hound there... and Disorderlies.... b/c someone's mom wouldn't let us see Dirty Dancing cause it was... get this PG-13!
• You've ever gone up in the Corning Tower. My mom used to work there.
• You know where Buildings 1, 2, 3, and 4 are. - But I never knew when end to start counting from
• You know where the Stockade is. - lovely Schenectady
• You know which city is the Collar City and which is the Electric City. The collar city is better, I mean, we had Uncle Sam!
• You've spent the equivalent of the GDP of Nicaragua trying to win a stuffed animal at the Great Escape. - But do you remember when it was Storytown and Gaslight Village was down the street?
• You think Saratoga is classy. - Isn't it?
• You or someone you know has grandparents in Amsterdam. Ummm... not that I know of.
• Your parents have asked you to consider SUNY Plattsburgh. - Did the college tour there but refused to go to a school in the middle of nowhere!
• If you're from Schenectady then Troy might as well be Mars to you and vice versa. - I am such a Troy kid that I got lost on my way to my job interview. The only thing worth going to in Schenectady is Proctors.
• Milk = Stewart's, Cookies = Freihofer's. End of story.
• You can't give directions to Albany Med to save your life. - Let's hope the ambulance drivers are better at it.
• January Regents Week holds a special place in your heart. - A bonus vacation for the kids, hell for the teachers.
• If there's a chance of a snow day then every radio in your house is tuned to WGY. - Sadly in this age of technology, WGY no longer gives school closings. You have to get out of your nice warm bed and either turn on the TV or the Internet. I miss the days of Don Weeks... Unlce Don, is there any school today?????? And yet our district calendars still say WGY on them.
• You've argued with your parents to take the car out in the middle of a blizzard. - This still occurs annually and I don't live with them.
• You have an ingrained taste for concrete architecture. - maybe a small soft spot.
• You know "The Track" is The August Place To Be. - Correction - it is not the SUMMER place to be since the season is extended from the end of July to the beginning of September.
• You know it's "Awl -buh-nee", not "Al -buh-nee" or, even worse, "All-ben-nee".
• You can think of at least 4 different ways to get to Stuyvesant Plaza from the same starting point. - and in my head they all take 20 minutes.
• You remember when Hannaford was still Shop 'n' Save. - Why, yes I do. I also remember Grand Union and Albany Publiv
• You know that Mason & Sheehan isn't a cheap Champagne. - Didn't they get fired?
• You know what a guy Ken Goewey is. - he was such a guy, he ended up with a Team.
• You know who Nina (of Manchester) and her husband are, and how they sell diamonds for less than 33%. - He sounded like what I'd imagine the voice of God would sound like.
• Everybody likes Jack Byrne. - But I preferred Izzo's in Mechanicville.
• You thought Hoffman's Playland was the bomb as a child. - It still is. Gotta love a place where the attended has to PUSH the roller coaster up the first hill.
• You know that "The Berkshire Spur" isn't a foot ailment. lmao
• You know that "My dad Terry Morris is still number one!" - 1st of all, it's Grandpa now and 2nd, he died.
• You remember when Westgate Plaza used to be THE place to shop. - I highly doubt that. But I do remember when Latham Circle Mall was.
• You know the Times Union is your source. - And the Record is best used for lining litterboxes and wrapping fish.
• If there's even a chance of snow Ichabod Crane will be closed. - Do you know, I once interviewed for a job with them just for that reason????
• Thursday during the summer means Alive at Five and seeing everyone you know from High School. - It's been years since I headed down there.
• You've heard of, or better yet been to, Indian Ladder Farms. - nope, never, but I have been to Five Rivers
• Your parents or your friends parents work for the state... - Both my parents, my sisters, my brother-in-law, my aunt and my uncle. I was the rebel.

Self Esteem

I had a chat with a good friend today about how my views of self-esteem have always been skewed. But tonight I found some in little ways. I chatted up a bartender (FYI knowing baseball comes in handy) and he gave me a drink on him. He was cute too! Then in another bar, I got hit on in the bathroom by a lesbian. Well, not hit on exactly, but she told me I was looking good in green. LOL

It's weird. I was reliving some of my old college days tonight and in many ways I am the same person. But that person was unhappy, suicidal and lost. I am not really any of those things and while I look at my friends who are happily married and whatever, I still would rather be on my own than with the wrong person. I am not as self-destructive as I was back then. But I am not as fearless ever.

Fear controls every aspect of my life.

I am afraid of losing my parents. I am afraid of what others think of me. I am afraid to act on my feelings for someone. But I am afraid of not acting on them and missing out on something.

I am afraid of repeating past mistakes. I am afraid of being stuck in the same place, same job, same rut.

And I know these are things I can change or amend as needed but I AM AFRAID.

I don't know....

Any suggestions?

Other Books Read...

One good thing about SPAC is the reading time... I have read.... Second Helpings by Megan McCaffery, Queen of Babble by Meg Cabot, Liberating Paris by Linda Bloodworth Thomson, James Patterson's Women's Murder Club #6 & 7, Dedicated by the two who wrote The Nanny Diaries. All were enjoyable. Of course I have purchased more books this summer than I've read. Guess I'll have to schedule reading time into my days when I go back to work on Tuesday.

Vacation

I just got home from Cape Cod. I am such a New Englander trapped in the body of an Upstate New Yorker. I love the ocean. The weather beaten houses... the clam chowder... It makes me happy. It was nice to not be working.