Okay... so I am taking a break from blogs. I have had too many issues w/ people reading things they weren't meant to read. Who knew my life was so interesting???
Anyway... just got home from Boston. Went for a conference and got to hang out w/ my cousin and his friends. It was rather low key but nice to get away. Got to see David & Eugenie and met up w/ Kevin for breakfast. Always interesting.
Baseball season is underway... whoohoo...
I turned 31 last weekend. Had an interesting time.
Leave for Disney on Friday. Can't wait.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
I forgot what I wanted to say...
All righty then.... mental block. That happens quite frequently. I have been rather distracted recently.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Fixated
It's weird how something someone says can affect you. Last night I was told that something I have done was considered to be rude. In the grand scheme of things I shouldn't be upset by this. But it REALLY bugs me. Not that the person said it but b/c that's how they honestly felt. It didn't hurt my feelings so much as freaked me out that they felt that way about me. It was kinda a rude awakening, no pun intended.
Here's what I did... I changed the radio and turned off the heat controls in a car I was passenger in.
I know... I know... I'm going straight to hell.
I also realize that it was rude... but I must explain it in my lame attempt at defending myself. I have only done that in three other people's cars. I have never done that to Lauren or Jen or Melissa or Rick or Michael... I would never even think to do it. Now, most people know who me, know I am not a good passenger. I fully admit that. Ever since Shawna and I were in the accident back when we were @ HVCC, I am horrible. I search for the elusive break pedal on the passenger side, I clutch the Oh-Shit handles. I am completely uncomfortable.
The people I tend to play radio commando with are the people I have been riding w/ for the majority of my life: My dad - who doesn't change their parents' radio stations???? My sister - I can only take so much country. And Jason - whom I've been riding passenger w/ since we were 16. See a common thread? There's a comfort zone there.
Now while I may have done this twice (that I recall) to my friend, it was always without thinking. It was never meant to be rude. It was done in the same sort of comfort zone that I have with the others. In my ability to not be a horrible, anxious passenger, apparently I made myself too comfortable. And for that, I do appologize.
But now it has me wondering what else I do that pisses my friend off. For the past 12 hours I have been questioning all of it. Rationally, I know that I should let it go. We are friends and friends irrate each other from time to time. But now I am fearful that the bad opinion of me outweighs the good.
Here's what I did... I changed the radio and turned off the heat controls in a car I was passenger in.
I know... I know... I'm going straight to hell.
I also realize that it was rude... but I must explain it in my lame attempt at defending myself. I have only done that in three other people's cars. I have never done that to Lauren or Jen or Melissa or Rick or Michael... I would never even think to do it. Now, most people know who me, know I am not a good passenger. I fully admit that. Ever since Shawna and I were in the accident back when we were @ HVCC, I am horrible. I search for the elusive break pedal on the passenger side, I clutch the Oh-Shit handles. I am completely uncomfortable.
The people I tend to play radio commando with are the people I have been riding w/ for the majority of my life: My dad - who doesn't change their parents' radio stations???? My sister - I can only take so much country. And Jason - whom I've been riding passenger w/ since we were 16. See a common thread? There's a comfort zone there.
Now while I may have done this twice (that I recall) to my friend, it was always without thinking. It was never meant to be rude. It was done in the same sort of comfort zone that I have with the others. In my ability to not be a horrible, anxious passenger, apparently I made myself too comfortable. And for that, I do appologize.
But now it has me wondering what else I do that pisses my friend off. For the past 12 hours I have been questioning all of it. Rationally, I know that I should let it go. We are friends and friends irrate each other from time to time. But now I am fearful that the bad opinion of me outweighs the good.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Exasperating is the word of the day....
All right. So I am a chicken. I am completely unable to ask the one question I should ask. So, I'll assume the answer is no. Not sure how I feel about that. This is getting way too complicated. I give up. I usually enjoy a challenge, but not banging my head against brick walls.
St. Patrick's was fun. Went to Saratoga. Drank... Drank... and Drank some more. Two things that amused me: drunk jerk that H knew was touching my face and completely in my space. Behind him I could see Paul and if looks could kill he'd have been six feet under. The guy had also been bothering H earlier. Slime to say the least. We also hung out with H's roommate Nicole and her boyfriend. At one point, Nicole said something about Paul & I dating. H and I said that we weren't Nicole's boyfriend goes, "you're not?" I nearly fell on the floor laugh seeing as this is not the first time that has happened. Not sure why.
Had a totally bizarre day... was told I was not allowed to go on the family vacation. Had issues at the gas station, accidentally ran a red light in the 'burgh.... was told I was rude and apparently a bitch (that part happened yesterday, same source though) .... I'm thinking I never should have gotten out of bed.
Saw V for Vendetta. Very good. Action packed with an actual story that gets you thinking about the state of the world. The previews had intrigued me but I am a bg Natalie Portman fan so I was curious.
St. Patrick's was fun. Went to Saratoga. Drank... Drank... and Drank some more. Two things that amused me: drunk jerk that H knew was touching my face and completely in my space. Behind him I could see Paul and if looks could kill he'd have been six feet under. The guy had also been bothering H earlier. Slime to say the least. We also hung out with H's roommate Nicole and her boyfriend. At one point, Nicole said something about Paul & I dating. H and I said that we weren't Nicole's boyfriend goes, "you're not?" I nearly fell on the floor laugh seeing as this is not the first time that has happened. Not sure why.
Had a totally bizarre day... was told I was not allowed to go on the family vacation. Had issues at the gas station, accidentally ran a red light in the 'burgh.... was told I was rude and apparently a bitch (that part happened yesterday, same source though) .... I'm thinking I never should have gotten out of bed.
Saw V for Vendetta. Very good. Action packed with an actual story that gets you thinking about the state of the world. The previews had intrigued me but I am a bg Natalie Portman fan so I was curious.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Happy Freakin' St. Patrick's Day
I am so confused. I tried to make plans for St. Patrick's Day. My favorite holiday. And it's on a Friday so I can actually enjoy it for a change. Whoohoo!!! However nothing seems to be working according to the plan. I don't get it.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
It's like crack, I tell ya
Okay, upon the urging of some friends from Grad school, I have actually figured out how to utilize my MySpace account. It's like crack.
I have found my date for the senior prom. I found my friend Trevor whom I lost touch with ten years ago and have often wondered about. I found the usual assortment of people I do keep in touch with, like H. It's also neat cause you can get to be "friends" of music artists like Reaxis (a Boston band) or Adam Pascal (from Rent). And it has blogs. I like blogs.
And it's NOT Live Journal which confuses the hell out of me.
So... what's new... like I said Jamie is moving. We had a "girl's night in" last night. With fruity umbrella drinks and watched Mean Girls. It was nice. This week Riley and I are going for pancakes.
California boy emailed me two days in a row. That never happens.
And well... what I thought was a good idea at the time seems to have blown up in my face. Do I regret it? Nah... had to take a chance. But will someone please make the weirdness stop. It's annoying. Can I help it if I saw possibilities in one evening and was curious? My reasons were good and honest. I was in the mood to try something normal for a change.
And Jamie... I am sorry it annoys you how I hold shots. I cannot help it if my hands are small. I'll work on it while you're gone.
And Syracuse won!!!! Yippee!!!!!
I have found my date for the senior prom. I found my friend Trevor whom I lost touch with ten years ago and have often wondered about. I found the usual assortment of people I do keep in touch with, like H. It's also neat cause you can get to be "friends" of music artists like Reaxis (a Boston band) or Adam Pascal (from Rent). And it has blogs. I like blogs.
And it's NOT Live Journal which confuses the hell out of me.
So... what's new... like I said Jamie is moving. We had a "girl's night in" last night. With fruity umbrella drinks and watched Mean Girls. It was nice. This week Riley and I are going for pancakes.
California boy emailed me two days in a row. That never happens.
And well... what I thought was a good idea at the time seems to have blown up in my face. Do I regret it? Nah... had to take a chance. But will someone please make the weirdness stop. It's annoying. Can I help it if I saw possibilities in one evening and was curious? My reasons were good and honest. I was in the mood to try something normal for a change.
And Jamie... I am sorry it annoys you how I hold shots. I cannot help it if my hands are small. I'll work on it while you're gone.
And Syracuse won!!!! Yippee!!!!!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
What do you do with a drunkin' sailor??
Give him a shot of Irish Whiskey!! Of course. My cousin Jamie and I enjoy shots of Jameson Whiskey. It has led to many interesting nights. I am sad. Jamie, her husband Matt and their little guy, Riley are moving to North Carolina in a week. I will miss her terribly. We are family because our grandfathers were brothers, but something else made us best friends. Email opened the lines of communication while we were in college. Hair of the Dog gave us somewhere to enjoy life. Because of Jamie, I made some of my closest friends since I was a kid: Mike, Jen & Paul. They became my security blanket and no matter where I moved, coming home was always fun because of them. Jamie and I met Frank McCourt together... and oh my God.. oh my God!!! Kevin Spacey! LOL We were groped by a Baldwin brother... We enjoyed fruity umbrella drinks at Yankee Stadium. She's the only person who understands while in the middle of Friendly's I can burst into tears while remembering my grandfather and it's okay. I only know of one time when we actually snapped at each other but it was 8 am and it was mostly Paul's fault anyway, so it doesn't really count. We know each other's lateness and actually schedule events accordingly. I don't really know if I would be the person I am today (good or bad) if it weren't for Jamie. She said the other night that she didn't count because she was family. I don't believe that. It makes her count even more.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Land of Make Believe
Why is it that I can say anything I want, practically do anything I want when it comes to my "crush" but not anyone else? I have always said that he would be my ideal fling. The one man you had to have an affair with, the kind they write smutty novels about.
Maybe when you've experienced your fantasy, it makes you ready for something real. The real turn on is the ability to make something once thought impossible, happen. How do you make real happen? But see, this is where I am clueless. I deal much better in fantasies and make believe and impossibilities than anything tangible.
How do I let someone know I am interested in them? What if they don't feel the same? What if they think you're still in love with someone else? What if they're no good with subtleties and you're no good with patience?
I think I'll become a nun.
Maybe when you've experienced your fantasy, it makes you ready for something real. The real turn on is the ability to make something once thought impossible, happen. How do you make real happen? But see, this is where I am clueless. I deal much better in fantasies and make believe and impossibilities than anything tangible.
How do I let someone know I am interested in them? What if they don't feel the same? What if they think you're still in love with someone else? What if they're no good with subtleties and you're no good with patience?
I think I'll become a nun.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
April 2, 1980
I don't have many memories of my grandfather. He was my only living grandparent but when I was 8, he went into a nursing home. I stopped visiting him when I was 10 because it was too hard to see him. He had Alzheimer's. He passed away when I was 16.
Today, I spent the day going through old photos with my mom. It's an ongoing project that started when I made my mom a family scrapbook for Christmas. I was convinced that there were no photos of me when I was a baby, they had been packed away in a box for nearly 31 years...
Now my mom had told me a story about my grandfather forgetting my birthday one year but I had no memories of it. Until today.
I was going through photos, putting them in chonological order to put into photo albums for my mom. I found a photo of my 5th birthday. I remembered it because it was when I got my first baseball glove. That's the only real thing I remembered about that birthday. There was a picture of me opening the glove and another of me with my cake - 5 candles, a normal chocolate birthday cake, with me and glove beside it.
My grandfather always got our cakes. It started with my older sisters. They were the really nice bakery ones with characters and themes. One year I had a Mickey Mouse one...
According to my mom, on my 5th birthday, I waited all day for him to come with my cake. But he didn't, and my parents didn't know what to do, so my Aunt picked one up on the way to our house with my cousins. I guess I didn't no anything was wrong, because I look really happy.
But as I continues looking through the pictures, there was another picture of me and a cake. This one was Snow White and said Happy 5th Birthday Marcia. My grandfather arrived with a few days later. I don't remember any of this, other than the glove and the Snow White characters residing on my shelf after that....
I kinda wonder if that has anything to do with my dislike of birthday cake. For as long as I can remember I have refused birthday cakes, only allowing ice cream cakes.
My favorite number is 4. It's been my favorite because for my 4th birthday my grandfather gave me a cute panda bear card. The card is long gone, but I've never forgotten it.
I've always felt cheated because I hardly knew my grandparents. All I have to do is see a picture of them and I spontaneously cry. Guess I got cheated out of a birthday cake too...
Today, I spent the day going through old photos with my mom. It's an ongoing project that started when I made my mom a family scrapbook for Christmas. I was convinced that there were no photos of me when I was a baby, they had been packed away in a box for nearly 31 years...
Now my mom had told me a story about my grandfather forgetting my birthday one year but I had no memories of it. Until today.
I was going through photos, putting them in chonological order to put into photo albums for my mom. I found a photo of my 5th birthday. I remembered it because it was when I got my first baseball glove. That's the only real thing I remembered about that birthday. There was a picture of me opening the glove and another of me with my cake - 5 candles, a normal chocolate birthday cake, with me and glove beside it.
My grandfather always got our cakes. It started with my older sisters. They were the really nice bakery ones with characters and themes. One year I had a Mickey Mouse one...
According to my mom, on my 5th birthday, I waited all day for him to come with my cake. But he didn't, and my parents didn't know what to do, so my Aunt picked one up on the way to our house with my cousins. I guess I didn't no anything was wrong, because I look really happy.
But as I continues looking through the pictures, there was another picture of me and a cake. This one was Snow White and said Happy 5th Birthday Marcia. My grandfather arrived with a few days later. I don't remember any of this, other than the glove and the Snow White characters residing on my shelf after that....
I kinda wonder if that has anything to do with my dislike of birthday cake. For as long as I can remember I have refused birthday cakes, only allowing ice cream cakes.
My favorite number is 4. It's been my favorite because for my 4th birthday my grandfather gave me a cute panda bear card. The card is long gone, but I've never forgotten it.
I've always felt cheated because I hardly knew my grandparents. All I have to do is see a picture of them and I spontaneously cry. Guess I got cheated out of a birthday cake too...
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
It's Electric!!!
It's amazing how reliant we are on power. The power went out today about 3 pm. It FINALLY came back on about 12:30 am.
Without electronic devices to entertain me... I was productive. Did some cleaning and organizing... but then the sun went down. Lauren and I played 3 games of Sequence (Thanks Melissa!!!) NiMo said the power should be on approximately 6 pm (Lying Bastards!) so we were trying to hold out. By 6:15, we were cold and starving. Went to Panara. Killed some time there. Then tried to figure out what else to do.. go to the movies? Why bother, if we wanted to sit in the dark we could do that at home... bowling? We didn't want to be anywhere near people seeing as how neither of us had showered... after discussing it for a half hour, we decided to go to Barnes & Noble. Great idea. Drank coffee... looked at books. It was bright and warm... I don't think I have laughed that much in a long time.
Got home @ 10:30 and still no power. Andrew came home and we played Scatagories (sp?) by the light of candles and lanterns. Andrew has anger management issues. But I beat them.
Work is interesting... busy. I like my kids and feel like I am actually teaching for a change.
A friend of mine had an epiphany last week - whilst (his word, not mine) crawling to the toilet (he had thrown his back out) he realized that this is why people get married. Interesting perspective and kinda true. I look at my parents and with everything my mom is going through. It's nice to know there's someone there.
I am watching a PSA on how to get on a school bus. Now, it's 1:31 am. What kid is up at this hour to be watching a bus safety commercial??? Whoever planned that should have his ass fired.
What else?? Nothing much. Been pretty much a hermit. Haven't spoken to anyone or done anything lately. Gotta change that. But it's winter and I enjoy hibernating.
Been working on my novel. The one I started in 1994. LOL Not sure if it will ever be finished but it keeps me out of trouble. I have been being crafty lately. Scrapbooking and now making a quilt. Interesting with my lack of attention span. Can't wait to see how it all turns out.
So... I should probably go to sleep now. Been enjoying this last hour with power. TV and cable and internet... wow... as Andrew said, how do the Amish do it??? LOL
BTW - Boys still suck.
Without electronic devices to entertain me... I was productive. Did some cleaning and organizing... but then the sun went down. Lauren and I played 3 games of Sequence (Thanks Melissa!!!) NiMo said the power should be on approximately 6 pm (Lying Bastards!) so we were trying to hold out. By 6:15, we were cold and starving. Went to Panara. Killed some time there. Then tried to figure out what else to do.. go to the movies? Why bother, if we wanted to sit in the dark we could do that at home... bowling? We didn't want to be anywhere near people seeing as how neither of us had showered... after discussing it for a half hour, we decided to go to Barnes & Noble. Great idea. Drank coffee... looked at books. It was bright and warm... I don't think I have laughed that much in a long time.
Got home @ 10:30 and still no power. Andrew came home and we played Scatagories (sp?) by the light of candles and lanterns. Andrew has anger management issues. But I beat them.
Work is interesting... busy. I like my kids and feel like I am actually teaching for a change.
A friend of mine had an epiphany last week - whilst (his word, not mine) crawling to the toilet (he had thrown his back out) he realized that this is why people get married. Interesting perspective and kinda true. I look at my parents and with everything my mom is going through. It's nice to know there's someone there.
I am watching a PSA on how to get on a school bus. Now, it's 1:31 am. What kid is up at this hour to be watching a bus safety commercial??? Whoever planned that should have his ass fired.
What else?? Nothing much. Been pretty much a hermit. Haven't spoken to anyone or done anything lately. Gotta change that. But it's winter and I enjoy hibernating.
Been working on my novel. The one I started in 1994. LOL Not sure if it will ever be finished but it keeps me out of trouble. I have been being crafty lately. Scrapbooking and now making a quilt. Interesting with my lack of attention span. Can't wait to see how it all turns out.
So... I should probably go to sleep now. Been enjoying this last hour with power. TV and cable and internet... wow... as Andrew said, how do the Amish do it??? LOL
BTW - Boys still suck.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Long Distance
Okay, so the dating trend these days seems to be long distance. My cousin is currently seeing someone who lives in LA. He lives in Boston. He's having fun with it so, hey! And another friend of his lives in Seattle and is trying to date someone here. Time zones, my friends. I am just trying to see someone in the same times zone. Not even fussy about the same state.
The New Year has rolled in quite well. As I said, New Year's in Boston rocked. Came back and got a snow day. Booked my April trip to Disney World. I don't care if I have been there 3 times already, I like it. It makes me happy.
My mom is doing well... no major health issues at the moment. A little cold and a possible case of vertigo that we blame on the flu and pneumonia shots she got this fall. I still say the flu shot makes you sicker than the flu. But whatever.
Work has been insane. I picked up a third kid to work with. He's hearing but needs help so I am doing AIS. It's kinda fun being useful for a change. However the FM systems are going to be the death of me. Long story, albeit amusing.
Recent Movies: Rent, Harry Potter 4... Loved them both. Adam Pascal just rocks in Rent.
Currently reading: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I haven't been reading much lately and haven't been finishing anything I start. I like summers better when I can read seven books.
Recent DVD's: Must Love Dogs, Dark Angel - Season 1. John Cusack is just amazing. I can watch him in anything. Dark Angel has been my Alias this winter. I had watched it while it was on and Netflix has been delivering it to my door. I liked Max and Logan, they're not unlike Sydney and Vaughn....
Think I'll go to bed now...
The New Year has rolled in quite well. As I said, New Year's in Boston rocked. Came back and got a snow day. Booked my April trip to Disney World. I don't care if I have been there 3 times already, I like it. It makes me happy.
My mom is doing well... no major health issues at the moment. A little cold and a possible case of vertigo that we blame on the flu and pneumonia shots she got this fall. I still say the flu shot makes you sicker than the flu. But whatever.
Work has been insane. I picked up a third kid to work with. He's hearing but needs help so I am doing AIS. It's kinda fun being useful for a change. However the FM systems are going to be the death of me. Long story, albeit amusing.
Recent Movies: Rent, Harry Potter 4... Loved them both. Adam Pascal just rocks in Rent.
Currently reading: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I haven't been reading much lately and haven't been finishing anything I start. I like summers better when I can read seven books.
Recent DVD's: Must Love Dogs, Dark Angel - Season 1. John Cusack is just amazing. I can watch him in anything. Dark Angel has been my Alias this winter. I had watched it while it was on and Netflix has been delivering it to my door. I liked Max and Logan, they're not unlike Sydney and Vaughn....
Think I'll go to bed now...
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Happy New Year
The trip to Boston was a success in so many ways. The party was great. Rock Club was terrific. Having to deal with my cousin gloating all morning New Year's Day was annoying. So, he made out with someone. Hehe...
Apparently spontaneous has become my middle name. :-)
Apparently spontaneous has become my middle name. :-)
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