Script Re-Write

Hmm... How did we get here? How the hell? (sorry quoting Rent)

All right... where to begin? My ex-boyfriend from eight years ago decided to email me last week telling me that I am the only girl he'd be happy dating at this point in his life. He's looking to settle down, get married, buy a house, have kids. Not sure if all that is with me or not, but I am not waiting around to find out. We have nothing in common, never did.

On a sad note, Eamonn's burned down this morning. My friends and I have spent many interesting and intoxicated nights there. It's sad. Especially after all the McGirr family has gone through.

Can I tell you it was rather disturbing to see Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez in the dugout. Manny's arm was around Johnny and Johnny's head was on Manny's shoulder. I believe it was a new episode of Queer Eye for the straight guy.

Speaking of which, the Sox on QE was hysterical. Seeing Tek get his back waxed was amusing. Kevin Millar is a dork.

So... California boy is moving back tomorrow. I am remarkably calm about it. Maybe because I knew it was coming since I met him. Last year and the whole girlfriend in California w/ breast cancer came up and then him moving out was a bit terrifying. Since we met in the fall of 2003, he had become one of my best friends. We hung out almost everyday for over four months. We talked about everything and nothing. We didn't have to do anything, we could just spend time together. Since he moved out, we stayed friends much to my surprise. When he graduated last month, he surprised me with his desire to stay here. He and his girlfriend purchased a house here as an investment. He was looking to get a job here.

Then last week, after an afternoon, hanging out by the pool, he tells me that he's moving back. He would be homeless and jobless by the end of June and had no options. I hate the thought of never seeing him again. It makes me sad. We said goodbye last night and it was hard.

It's a weird relationship. I have been completely in love with him practically since we met. Although he says we are just friends, I have never had a friendship like this.

If this were a script of a movie, I would re-write it. I would have him act on the doubts he has about his relationship with the girlfriend and realize how much we belong together. He would decide that he'd be happier here with me than in California without me.

On his job hunt, he found a TOD job for me. I asked where. He said California. He said he thought about waiting another week before he left and having me drive out with him - at least as far as the Mississippi (Private Joke).

Grrr....

On an aside, I had a nice phone conversation with the previously posted "crush". I decided to be brave and call him in response to an email. I like how that feels. Nothing will ever come of him and me, but he's great for self-confidence. Someone that I admire in many ways and who feels I am worth their time. There's a nice comfort level in it.

Sox won. Tek hit a homerun. He made a beautiful play blocking the plate the other day.

Only one full day left of school. Two half days and a 10 am dismissal left. Whoohoo!!!

Endings

Hey... anybody out there?

All right, I've written blogs in my head a hundred times but I never find the time to get it down here.

First - my mom. Well, she had the second surgery. They tested the lymph nodes, the margins and another non-invasive benign tumor and everything came back negative, so it looks like the cancer didn't spread. She'll start radiation on July 7th with a doctor she wants to fix me up with.

Second - my ex. The bookstore/band guy. He sent me and email telling me that I am the only person he would be happy dating at this point in his life. That he's looking to settle down and get married and buy a house and have kids. What is that? Who does that? We dated for 5 months 8 years ago. We never had anything in common, well, nothing that matters anyway. We've tried dating again since then and it NEVER works. Should I have to settle because he seems to be the only person who wants to be with me at this point in MY life?

Third - California boy. I seriously thought a year ago that when he moved out of the Club, I'd never see him again. It was heartbreaking. His girlfriend came to live here. Yet, we still stayed friends. We'd meet for coffee and email and IM. But then she went back to CA, and he graduated and bought a house here and it seemed that he was staying - that he WANTED to stay. Then Saturday, after a perfect afternoon hanging by the pool and just having fun, he tells me, (only because I asked if he had any trips to California coming up) that his landlords want him out of his lease early and since he has no job and the house he bought will have a tenant through July that he's moving back to California - NEXT WEEK. I hate it. I don't want him to leave. I don't want to lose him.

Fourth - "the crush" We are still friendly. Occasional emails. Nothing exciting to report other than his uncanny timing.

Fifth - the school year is almost over. 9 days left. I am sad to see it end. I really loved my job this year. I've loved the people I worked with. 1st grade seems so daunting after 2 years in Kindergarten.

So... I guess that's it. Or at least all that is interesing. I will have to have a baseball rant soon.