I forgot what I wanted to say...

All righty then.... mental block. That happens quite frequently. I have been rather distracted recently.

Fixated

It's weird how something someone says can affect you. Last night I was told that something I have done was considered to be rude. In the grand scheme of things I shouldn't be upset by this. But it REALLY bugs me. Not that the person said it but b/c that's how they honestly felt. It didn't hurt my feelings so much as freaked me out that they felt that way about me. It was kinda a rude awakening, no pun intended.

Here's what I did... I changed the radio and turned off the heat controls in a car I was passenger in.

I know... I know... I'm going straight to hell.

I also realize that it was rude... but I must explain it in my lame attempt at defending myself. I have only done that in three other people's cars. I have never done that to Lauren or Jen or Melissa or Rick or Michael... I would never even think to do it. Now, most people know who me, know I am not a good passenger. I fully admit that. Ever since Shawna and I were in the accident back when we were @ HVCC, I am horrible. I search for the elusive break pedal on the passenger side, I clutch the Oh-Shit handles. I am completely uncomfortable.

The people I tend to play radio commando with are the people I have been riding w/ for the majority of my life: My dad - who doesn't change their parents' radio stations???? My sister - I can only take so much country. And Jason - whom I've been riding passenger w/ since we were 16. See a common thread? There's a comfort zone there.

Now while I may have done this twice (that I recall) to my friend, it was always without thinking. It was never meant to be rude. It was done in the same sort of comfort zone that I have with the others. In my ability to not be a horrible, anxious passenger, apparently I made myself too comfortable. And for that, I do appologize.

But now it has me wondering what else I do that pisses my friend off. For the past 12 hours I have been questioning all of it. Rationally, I know that I should let it go. We are friends and friends irrate each other from time to time. But now I am fearful that the bad opinion of me outweighs the good.

Exasperating is the word of the day....

All right. So I am a chicken. I am completely unable to ask the one question I should ask. So, I'll assume the answer is no. Not sure how I feel about that. This is getting way too complicated. I give up. I usually enjoy a challenge, but not banging my head against brick walls.

St. Patrick's was fun. Went to Saratoga. Drank... Drank... and Drank some more. Two things that amused me: drunk jerk that H knew was touching my face and completely in my space. Behind him I could see Paul and if looks could kill he'd have been six feet under. The guy had also been bothering H earlier. Slime to say the least. We also hung out with H's roommate Nicole and her boyfriend. At one point, Nicole said something about Paul & I dating. H and I said that we weren't Nicole's boyfriend goes, "you're not?" I nearly fell on the floor laugh seeing as this is not the first time that has happened. Not sure why.

Had a totally bizarre day... was told I was not allowed to go on the family vacation. Had issues at the gas station, accidentally ran a red light in the 'burgh.... was told I was rude and apparently a bitch (that part happened yesterday, same source though) .... I'm thinking I never should have gotten out of bed.

Saw V for Vendetta. Very good. Action packed with an actual story that gets you thinking about the state of the world. The previews had intrigued me but I am a bg Natalie Portman fan so I was curious.

Happy Freakin' St. Patrick's Day

I am so confused. I tried to make plans for St. Patrick's Day. My favorite holiday. And it's on a Friday so I can actually enjoy it for a change. Whoohoo!!! However nothing seems to be working according to the plan. I don't get it.

It's like crack, I tell ya

Okay, upon the urging of some friends from Grad school, I have actually figured out how to utilize my MySpace account. It's like crack.

I have found my date for the senior prom. I found my friend Trevor whom I lost touch with ten years ago and have often wondered about. I found the usual assortment of people I do keep in touch with, like H. It's also neat cause you can get to be "friends" of music artists like Reaxis (a Boston band) or Adam Pascal (from Rent). And it has blogs. I like blogs.

And it's NOT Live Journal which confuses the hell out of me.

So... what's new... like I said Jamie is moving. We had a "girl's night in" last night. With fruity umbrella drinks and watched Mean Girls. It was nice. This week Riley and I are going for pancakes.

California boy emailed me two days in a row. That never happens.

And well... what I thought was a good idea at the time seems to have blown up in my face. Do I regret it? Nah... had to take a chance. But will someone please make the weirdness stop. It's annoying. Can I help it if I saw possibilities in one evening and was curious? My reasons were good and honest. I was in the mood to try something normal for a change.

And Jamie... I am sorry it annoys you how I hold shots. I cannot help it if my hands are small. I'll work on it while you're gone.

And Syracuse won!!!! Yippee!!!!!

Happy Birthday Asshole, Asshole, Asshole!!!

Happy 29th Birthday, Mike!!!!!!! Come home! I miss you!

What do you do with a drunkin' sailor??

Give him a shot of Irish Whiskey!! Of course. My cousin Jamie and I enjoy shots of Jameson Whiskey. It has led to many interesting nights. I am sad. Jamie, her husband Matt and their little guy, Riley are moving to North Carolina in a week. I will miss her terribly. We are family because our grandfathers were brothers, but something else made us best friends. Email opened the lines of communication while we were in college. Hair of the Dog gave us somewhere to enjoy life. Because of Jamie, I made some of my closest friends since I was a kid: Mike, Jen & Paul. They became my security blanket and no matter where I moved, coming home was always fun because of them. Jamie and I met Frank McCourt together... and oh my God.. oh my God!!! Kevin Spacey! LOL We were groped by a Baldwin brother... We enjoyed fruity umbrella drinks at Yankee Stadium. She's the only person who understands while in the middle of Friendly's I can burst into tears while remembering my grandfather and it's okay. I only know of one time when we actually snapped at each other but it was 8 am and it was mostly Paul's fault anyway, so it doesn't really count. We know each other's lateness and actually schedule events accordingly. I don't really know if I would be the person I am today (good or bad) if it weren't for Jamie. She said the other night that she didn't count because she was family. I don't believe that. It makes her count even more.

Us

asshole, asshole, asshole, Jamie, Jen, Sparkly Paul & Me at my 29th birthday.